Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Just to give you all an idea what I am about...here is a story from my life last spring!

Every now and then I really am dilusional and I plan/do things that my body really isn't ready for. I am getting better in my old age, but sometimes the insanity strikes! Two years ago I ran in a 4th of July 10k. I really didn't think much about the distance and thought it would be totally fun running with like 30,000 other people- some dressed as the statue of liberty and Uncle Sam. That is how all of us imagine 4th of July runs, right? Well, the other 29,988 people failed to show, no one was in costume, and the only people out running that particular morning were people trying to keep in shape for their normal marathon circut and someone thinking that this must be a casting call for the biggest looser! You can imagine how well I did as all I had run previously is 4 miles a day/ 5 days a week. What is another 2.2 miles? Ok...that was the last time the insanity struck until yesterday!

I woke yesterday convinced that it was a beautiful day and it needed to be enjoyed! My son, Lilboy, had musical practice from 5:30 -8:00, so one kid was taken care of! I raced to the basement and told Hubs that we needed to pack up our bikes in the afternoon, drop Lilboy off at musical practice and head to the the local trailhead. Here is what I imagined.... Hubs riding his bike while Lilgirl pedaled along behind on her trail a bike. Meanwhile, I leisurely pedalled along with my peaceful, happy thoughts; dreaming of the A & W I would get to dine on once I reached the little town at the end of the trail. I was doing this all in serene quiet, as normally DS would be riding by me complaining the entire time about how his legs hurt, how he really doesn't enjoy biking and then holding his hand while we balance our bikes and ride side by side as he cries the last 2 miles home!

We got to the trail and unloaded, noticing the wind, but it didn't seem bad enough to give up our plans of biking and burgers. The visions of peace, leisure and happiness all evaporated before we were even past the Northern most edge of town. The wind was so wild that at points I was sure my bike was standing still and Hubs and Lilgirl were so quickly getting way ahead of me that they were almost a little dot on the horizon. I couldn't waste brain power on happy thoughts, it was all I could do to convince myself that I could make it. Surely we would just turn around and go home if I could catch Hubs and Lilgirl and fill them in on the new plan. At this point, I think my head was beginning to swell with all the exersion because my bike helmet was strangling me!

We get to the "rest area" and I see a sign that says 4.5 miles to our home town. Great! We made it this far, the end of the trail is only like 10 miles total, so we are about half way. It has taken us 20 min though to make it this far because of the wind...so according to my calculations, we should be in Cheese Curd heaven in another 20- 30 min! I can do this!! I forgo telling Hubs and Lilgirl that we need to turn around.

If going on the bike ride on such a windy day was mistake number 1, then not turning around can account for mistakes number 2 through 13....as the end of the trail is really 13 miles away! At mile 8 I was ready to start looking for the water tower that would let me know I was in town or at least near it...Really what I found was that some how this trail was built so it was completely uphill! I was already about to have a coronary and now I am pedalling uphill, against the wind??? Could it get worse? It did when I found that mile marker 10 went by and there was no A & W, then 11 and the same thing. I finally had to catch Hubs and Lilgirl and ask if we had maybe missed it! Maybe with the strong head wind, there was some dust kicked up, and we missed an entire town!

We finally, 1 hour later, arrive at the end of the trail, only to realize that we had to be back in our home town in an hour to get Lilboy. What do we do? Mistake number 14. We head to A & W anyway and pack in 2 Root Beers each and a family sized cheese curd (that is what the bike ride was all about, right?) in a meer 3.5 minutes and we are back on the road.

Now, I am thinking that we are going to be going down hill all the way and the wind will push us and we are FINALLY going to have our peaceful, leisurely bike ride. Amazingly enough, the designers of the local trail have created a path that is UPHILL both ways! I am not sure how they did it, but good for them and the bike riders who are actually riding it for excercise! To top it off....the wind died....

We were back on our hellish ride and I was beginning to feel just a tad bit like I was going to poop my pants after my race eating at A & W. I explain this to Hubs and Lilgirl and they just laugh- like I was trying to be funny. We reach our 4.5 mile marker again to find that Lilgirl has to go potty...gross in a way, because the bathrooms are so nasty, but finally I can get off my bike seat and let my girl parts have some rest!!!

We get back on, now remember that by 20 minutes into the ride, I was dead. Well....by this point I am sure I am going to have a hernia or hemoroids- I am not sure which because I truly don't know much about matters of the behind, but mine is about to explode on the trail...leaving a trail behind me and Hubs and Lilgirl are gone ahead of me...gone....can't even see them.... So, do I use the cell phone and beg someone to come get me? Or do I keep pedalling? I decided I could do it. Me and God were going to get back to our home town, clean pants and all!

Go ahead and call me Lilboy because by now I was searching for a passing bicyclist to hold my hand and ride next to me while I was crying. Sobing actually. Tears clouded my vision though and I couldn't see the path ahead of me. I was really starting to doubt my great plan and question my sanity as I rode in to our home town. I did spot Hubs and Lilgirl finally though and was able to catch up...somewhat. I was tempted to ask some people to push me up over the brigdes one hits when first coming into our home town from the north. The looks I got as I rode up to them- red faced, puffy eyed and stinking ( with clean pants though) were enough to give me the little boost I needed to get up over the bridge by myself. What was going through their minds? Did they think I was going to attack them? I will never know.....Maybe it was the way I was breathing!

We actually took too long getting back and I had to call another family to pick up Lilboy from his musical practice. The ride was over and all we had to do was go get him, put the kids in bed, and finally eat something normal for dinner. I went to get out of the truck at our friends house- and lucky me- they were all outside waiting for us. I couldn't walk! My legs crumpled beneath me....that wasn't the worst part, as I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom....I couldn't lower myself to sit on the potty! It was so painful! So painful....

3 comments:

  1. There we go!!! Love it! I'm laughing all over again!!!

    Tiff

    p.s. The colors and owl are just too darn cute! Welcome aboard!

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  2. I can so see me doing this too, accept our trip would be down the street to DQ.

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  3. I laughed until I cried when I read this, it was great! I can definitely relate to all of your efforts on the bike. Thanks for sharing.

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